


Cookie!!! on Milk

by HQ_Wingster



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Cookies, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dessert & Sweets, Food, Gen, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 10:06:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HQ_Wingster/pseuds/HQ_Wingster
Summary: I’m a sweet, femme-fatale that no cookie can ignore.





	Cookie!!! on Milk

**Author's Note:**

> this was a weird crack story that was inspired by a discord chat.

There was once a cookie that skated on milk. A powdery, flaky sweet that swayed to the rhythm of the music, flowing through his milk-soaked veins. A fluff of powder chipping off from his squishy, moist body as the pastry slid across a frozen milk rink. Getting ready for a jump, pulling his body tight as he took his rounds, and landed cleanly on his licorice skates as the kitchen window illuminated his the baking tray against an autumn morning.

Next to the packets of sugar and the tea cups, an adorable butter cookie poked his top half up and watched as Viktor Cookiforov danced to a stunning performance of  _ Stammi Vicino  _ for his eyes, and  _ his  _ eyes alone.

The tea cookie came closer, skating to the edge of his milk-rink with a familiar wink and grin that no one else would ever see. The honey glaze oozing from his center reflected Yuuri’s buttery eyes, and Viktor reached out an appendage. Ready to whisk Yuuri into the world of milk-skating, as if all of this was a dream.

With reckless abandon, Yuuri grabbed his skates and crossed the dairy rink, meeting Viktor in the centre just as this dream whisked them away.

\---

During the Cookie Grand Prix, Human judges scored the international desserts before them. A blushing cake from Austria, a flushed pie from Germany, a saucy pancake adorned with whip cream from Canada, and Yuuri Katscookie trembled on his plate when the judges approached him. Pencils twirled in their hands when they inspected every aspect of his pastry-self.

Yuuri laid his back against his floral plate, closing his eyes when fingers came close and prodded his rounded corners. The flub of a fingernail dug crumbs out from his sides, but Yuuri didn’t say anything. It would ruin the judging experience, and there was a box to check for  _ that  _ if the Human judges felt provoked in any way. But today, Yuuri was clear and there were other things to check.  _ More pressing things. _

Was Yuuri a moist or dry cookie? Baked properly? What was his flavor? A score was jotted down when they had a little taste, and Yuuri touched the spot where they tore a chunk of himself. It was his top corner, and Yuuri felt himself crumble underneath his own touch. It was an odd feeling, knowing that something so simple could kill in a heartbeat.

The tear didn’t hurt him and Yuuri would grow the chunk back, but it was strange. Having someone tear a part of you to taste and just leaving without telling you anything. How the Human-world worked was a mystery, but Yuuri couldn’t dwell on it.

After the tasting and scores, he had one more chance to prove himself to the international, dessert experts. Baking experts? Culinary experts? Strange Humans who found pleasure in eating sweets that could talk, run, and move?

Yuuri already knew that he flubbed the taste-portion of the Grand Prix. He might’ve been a butter cookie, but he was as bland as a sugar one. He should’ve baked a little longer, stayed in the oven to crisp out and develop a sweet aroma that no one could turn away from. He was a freakin’ butter cookie and he couldn’t deliver on that!

“Calm down,” he told himself, patting down his fluffy self when he sat up on his presenting plate.

He couldn’t let his nerves get to him now. Not when he was  _ this  _ close to be crowned as the best dessert in the world. That was why he was here. Because his parents told him that he could be the best cookie in the world if he wanted to be, and Yuuri wanted this more than other cookie.

He was literally quivering over his own crumbs when Chris Giacookie rolled over from another plate. The nutty dessert enveloped Yuuri with a thick, sticky coating of devil’s chocolate. Almost like a friend giving another a suit and tie before an important event, and Yuuri needed this. He needed a companion right now, and Chris recognized that before Yuuri said anything.

“Don’t be so tense.” Chris practically whispered into Yuuri’s non-existent ear. The butter cookie seized his trembling, but he couldn’t when a Human judge brought out a baking sheet filled with frozen milk. For the skating portion but by God, Yuuri’s breath was hitched in the back of his buttery throat.

He had trained so hard for this moment, but there was one thing he couldn’t prepare for.

_ Vicchan. _

His adorable gumdrop had drowned in a sheet pan full of milk days before, having mistaken it as frozen when he tried to lead his owner out for a friendly skate. And because Yuuri was a cookie, he couldn’t save his pet when Vicchan’s desperate yelps faded into an eerie silence on a moonless evening.

That was all in the back of Yuuri’s mind, and he could almost  _ feel  _ the betrayal that choked his beloved pet to death

\---.

_ “Vicchan!”  _ A disturbing cry echoed in a kitchen, but Yuuri didn’t hear a reply.

_ \--- _

Chris gave Yuuri a good hug, even though the butter cookie tried to escape. But even so, Chris was an older cookie, a wiser cookie when he shushed gently into Yuuri’s ear and comforted the distressed dessert.

“There are some things we can’t change about our pasts, but we can accept that they won’t happen again.”

_ “How can you say that?”  _ Yuuri mumbled.

“You’re not the only one who’s been through something bad.” Chris winked before plucking a walnut from his middle and giving it to Yuuri so that he could hug it. Yuuri awkwardly accepted the gift before Chris rolled back onto his own plate. “When you’re out there skating, don’t think of the bad memories but think of the  _ happier  _ ones that you’ll make. Can you do that for me?”

Yuuri looked up to Chris for a moment before nodding. A sudden weight shifted off from his doughy-chest, but he wasn’t in the clear yet.

Not when there were other desserts that were preparing to skate on the frozen milk. Yuuri had to prove that he wasn’t just another cookie and at the same time, he sort of qualified since he was the only Asian dessert that qualified for the Cookie Grand Prix. A strange name since not every dessert was a cookie, but the name sounded better than  _ Dessert Grand Prix. _

Out on the milk-rink, Yuuri had to prove that he was a luscious, buttery cookie with every curve and crisp that nicked and adorned his velvety body. Vicchan didn’t die in vain, and Yuuri wanted to prove that. Even though it was his personal burden to bear.

Until the milk cracked underneath his licorice skates.


End file.
